Hi, I’m James Bell and this is my short story.
An average mind taking on a great illness.

When I was young, I watched ‘A Beautiful Mind’, became fascinated with Nash Equilibrium and wanted to write an original take on equilibrium. There was only one problem…I was failing school. Not for lack of effort, but because I’m easily distracted, not naturally smart and nothing seems to stick straight away.

I had two choices: drop out or find a way to make it work. So, I changed my approach. Instead of overloading, I applied principles of equilibrium - 15 minutes a day, then 20, then 30, until I was studying for hours without feeling overwhelmed. Studying became enjoyable, and I went from failing to becoming Dux.

However, the smarter I got, the worse my mental health progressed. At university, panic attacks became the norm which wrecked my exams, and no matter how good my assessments were, I couldn’t get the marks needed for a doctorate. Failing my dream crushed me. Depression hit, and I struggled to make sense of it.

After university, I became the head chemist for an aquarium chemical company. Hobbyists would send in water samples with an occasional treat, and I’d analyse them using lab instruments like a nerdy lab rat with its tasty cheese. This allowed me to understand equilibrium to a greater degree as I could see the elemental profiles of aquariums that were struggling, doing okay and healthy.

While I initially thought that the struggling ones would not survive, with time, pure solutions, resilience and patience, I was able to see those aquariums making comebacks. Like the Porsolt swimming rat experiment, this showed me the concept of hope and that it is possible to come back from data that looks impossible.

Years later, I had a chance at a Ph.D. but was told to change my equilibrium analogy or walk away. Instead, I created a third option - turn it into a self-help guide. That choice changed everything. Over time, I beat depression to the point where I was cleared by my doctors. Now, no matter what life throws at me, I can break it down, work through it, and move forward.

Depression no longer feels invisible. 

At time of release, Emotional Response Equilibrium is just an analogy. However, with scientific collaboration and your feedback, I believe we can turn it into something that genuinely helps people.

Either way, this is my way of saying thank you for the treats.
Keep Swimming, Keep Living.